a new week

so many new things this week. overall it has been a really good week with marlee. her blood sugar levels have been much more level this week. not much of anything over 200. the beginning of the week marlee was wanting her sugars taken a lot because she realized if her sugars were low she would get a sweet snack-juice, grapes, cookies, candy. she really was liking it. it took a few days to try to teach her we didn't want her sugars getting too low. she is starting to flinch when i give her the insulin shots. seeing the bruises on her legs from when i give her the shot or pull out the needle the wrong way really tugs at my heart yet. at times it makes me sick to my stomach or makes me want to cry when she flinches and says "that one hurt mommy."...................... a selfish moment for me is that i have to get her meal all ready at one time. and count carbs for everything. often i am eating last and just want to sit down and enjoy a meal with the family. marlee also gets her insulin before she eats which means we need to make sure she eats what we give her. and that does not always work well. having a 4 year old with an appetite all over the place means she doesn't always eat everything on her plate. it was hard earlier this week but i am learning that if marlee wants more of something i don't make her finish another item. because of the time i spend time preparing her meal and figuring out her numbers i want her to eat what i give her. so for me it is all about flexibility. i am taking the 2nd diabetes class this week which will help me know more yet.........................so today i am grateful for a big crazy family that shows love in so many ways. i love how naomi cares so much about how marlee feels. i love how kevin and i can look at each other when marlee teaches us how to take her sugars and know she is tugging at our hearts. i love smiles. so smile today and smile a lot.