12.12.12

just a cool date. i had to post something...

heaven

i did church at home with the kids yesterday. in our discussion we talked about how our bodies are not perfect but when we get to heaven they will be new and perfect. no more diabetes, no more cracked hands or feet, no more 2 colds(which is what marlee calls her cold today), no more headaches. we talked about how we are living in our eternity here on earth and how we need to live each day with God being in the first place in our hearts, actions, and thoughts. well, a little while later marlee comes up to me and tells me she wants to die. it took me a minute to process, then she said because she wants to go to heaven so she doesn't have diabetes anymore. i wasn't quite sure what to say and i know i need to have further discussions with her. diabetes stinks but she has this for a reason. some reason that her smiling, beautiful personality will be made stronger and she will be able to somehow use this experience to help someone else out. i love her and i know God is running the show. i still wonder "why marlee?" but i hope to help guide her to where she and i can be a blessing to others through diabetes.

christmas baking

today was a wonderful day. marlee, naomi, levi and i went to my mom and dad's for some baking. my sister in law and her kiddos were there too! it was great to bake with the cousins. it did bring on its challenges with a 4 year old with diabetes who likes to lick the batter and try a piece of everything we were making. i can't even remember how many shots i gave her for whatever she put in her mouth. thank heavens she doesn't complain about the shots. i tell her "you will need insulin if you want to try this" and she looks at me and says "just give me more insulin, i want another cookie." the pump will be easier when we get started the end of the month. i then will just have to push a button!

forgetting

the other day i was getting marlee (and everyone else) ready to eat-i put the needle on the syringe figured out how many carbs dinner was then took the needle off and dispensed it before i even gave marlee her insulin. i was in a blur. this seems to be happening a lot to me lately. my mind is in a blur of busyness. mostly good but at times feeling like i have lost my mind.